I remember speaking with my father when I was a young boy, I couldn’t have been more than 8 or 9 and I asked him “What’s the point of doing anything if ultimately we all die.” Quite a deep question for a child. He said that, we all have to find a way to survive in this world, so we all have to find something to do. He always encouraged me to make that ‘something’ art and in truth it’s the only thing that has been a constant throughout my life thus far. In Primary school, I got good enough grades to attend one of the best high schools in Guyana, St Stanislaus’ College, but throughout my primary school years, whether singing, acting or presenting I was always performing. In high school, I did business studies and accounting and finished my schooling with very good grades but I was always performing. In college, I studied video production and achieved 3 A levels and was accepted to every University I applied to, but I was always performing. And now, in my working life I’ve been a paperboy, worked for a number of supermarkets, a bank, a payroll company and now the London Fire Brigade for the last 10 years and you guessed it…I’ve always been performing. I honestly cannot see anything better than creating art for a living. Maybe I’ve been conditioned to think this way, in the same way that most of us are conditioned to believe the things we believe but art has always been my thing. It’s up to you to find yours and if you haven’t already then I sure hope you do.

I was booked in to perform at a comedy show on Monday at a place called Monty’s Bar in Brick Lane. It was the first time I had ever performed at this particular night and was looking forward to it. However, the weather on Monday was horrendous. It rained nearly all day and would have been the perfect reason to stay home where it was warm and dry, but once I commit to something I like to follow it through. Added to the terrible weather I came to discover, while walking through puddles, that I had holes in the soles of my favourite shoes and so for the duration of the night had wet socks and soggy feet! The worst! I was playing around with my set earlier in the day, thinking of what jokes to run with and the order in which I would be delivering them. I decided to throw a new bit into my set and place it in the middle. With any new bit of comedy you take a chance and run the risk of falling flat on your face but it’s the only way to see if it can work. One suggestion I received regarding set structure is that it’s best to start with strong material, put the semi-strong/new material in the middle and finish with the strongest material, so, I decided to try this out. When I arrived at Monty’s I was asked whether I’d be happy to close the first half of the show and do a 7-minute set, closing the first half would have been perfect, however, I’m only comfortable with doing 5 minute sets at the moment so 7 minutes is a bit of a challenge, I know 2 minutes doesn’t seem like much but depending on how your set is going it definitely can be. However, I backed myself and figured it would allow me time to try out a few more things and not be too rushed. Unfortunately, the second act did not show up in time and I was asked whether I could go on in their place. This was unexpected, took me aback and was not ideal, but to not come across as a Diva I said yes and before I knew it was on stage sooner than desired. These things happen I guess. At one point during the set it felt like I had been talking for ages, then I looked at my watch and only 3 minutes had passed. I had another 4 minutes to fill. I nearly panicked! But composed myself and just tried to enjoy it. I think all artists are quite self-critical and when I finished my set, I didn’t feel like it went well. Don’t get me wrong, I got laughs, but not the kind of laughs that fill you with confidence and give you a buzz, the energy coming back at me wasn’t overly positive, however, one thing I try my best to do is never blame the crowd. I like to take full responsibility for the way in which my comedy is received, after all, I’m the one that wrote it and I’m the one performing it, so who else can I blame. I’ll be getting the video from the gig soon and will be able to re-watch and deconstruct the performance. There’s every chance it might not be as bad as I think it was, or maybe it will be worse, but one thing’s for sure. It can only get better.

(At the time of completing this blog I have received the video of my performance and oh my gosh it was terrible!!! Just kidding, it wasn’t as bad as first thought. I think I wasn’t totally comfortable in my delivery, partly because I went on sooner than expected and also because on this particular night I had someone very dear to me in the crowd and I was more concerned with how my jokes may have been making them feel rather than focusing on my delivery. The ability to deliver my set regardless of who’s in the crowd is a muscle I have to develop, because it’s important to believe in your material and deliver it with confidence or else the audience will have no confidence in you)

I spent the next few days preparing for a trip abroad. Now before I write this paragraph I know this will sound like first world problems and trust me, they are, but here I go anyway. I’ve never been a fan of preparing to go away. In fact, everything up until the moment I arrive in a new part of the country or world is a chore to me. From deciding where to go, to booking the travel and accommodation, to packing, to getting to the airport, going through security, boarding the plane, the flight…oh don’t get me started on the flight, the regimented times that you’re given food…like what if I don’t want to eat when you’re bringing the food around. It’s 11am and you’re serving lunch, I don’t eat lunch that early…Arrrggghhh!!!! Like I said, first world problems. I would be travelling to Canada. Montreal and Toronto to be exact. Why have I chosen to leave a cold climate for an even colder one? Because my lovely cousin Kimberly is getting married and I’ve had nearly 2 years notice, so I’d be a bit of a prick if I didn’t turn up, in truth, I wouldn’t miss it for the world. My cousin Kim and I go way back. She’s the cousin I see the least, yet weirdly feel the closest to. She and I used to write each other letters, like actual hand-written letters, we were pen pals at a young age and as we got older would speak once in a blue moon but our conversations were always effortless and flowed so nicely. In fact, as I write this I’m actually feeling excited for the first time. It’ll be lovely to see her and her soon to be husband, not to mention their cute little baby girl, from the pictures I’ve seen she’s not so much a baby anymore. Well, looks like it’s lunch time, whether I like it or not!

Me and Kim during my first trip to Montreal (1992) Check out the high top though!

**Still blows my mind to think this thing was actually in the sky!**

**Why don’t they just fly in a straight line?**

I landed in Montreal safely, navigated my way out of the airport and into the city centre where I then boarded a bus to Toronto. I would be staying in Toronto with my cousin for the first few days of my trip, he moved out here two years ago in order to pursue a new life. Like me he’s a musician. Rap is his genre and he released his first single a few months ago entitled ‘Letting Go’ click here to check it out on Spotify. You don’t get to choose your family but if I could then he’s definitely one I would have chosen. I like him, not because he’s family (which in my opinion is not a good enough reason to like someone) but because he’s a good person. He’s a deeper thinker than most, he’s genuine and he’s driven. When I arrived at his place we sat up and spoke for an hour or so about his time in Canada thus far, his plans for the future and the vision he has for his life. It was great to talk with him and I have no doubt that he’ll make his dreams come true.

On this trip away I took my laptop with me, not something I would usually do but as the music video for ‘Upon a Lifetime’ would be coming out whilst I was away I had to prepare promotional material for social media. Another thing I’ve had to do is wake up early enough to post at Greenwich Mean Time. This sounds like a pain but for some reason my body clock has been waking me up around 5-6am every morning. Canada is currently 5 hours behind the UK so in terms of me posting online it’s been working out fine. I’m hoping to sleep a little later as the days roll on though or else I’ll burn out. The music video for ‘Upon a Lifetime’ has been very well received thus far. Thank you to everyone who’s been supporting this track, I’ve already hit 5k streams in the first week alone so you’re all doing an amazing job. I think that Joe Constante the director for the video did amazingly well at making the imagery match the feeling of the song. I really hope you’ve all been loving it and sharing it with your friends and family.

For my first few days in Toronto all I wanted to do was rest but I figured as I’m here in a new city I should take the opportunity to go out and explore. I’ve travelled enough to know just what I enjoy when in a new country. I like going to markets, I like trying new food and new beers, I like meeting new people and I like not being in a rush for anything. So, that’s what my day consisted of. I did a little research and found a place called Kensington Market and made my way there. It was lovely just walking around the streets, listening to different accents, popping into random shops, a few of which were marijuana shops, as marijuana is legal here and before you worry, I can confirm that I did NOT try any, we can be randomly drug tested at work so I stayed away from the sticky ickey but the smell of it fills the air as you walk around town.

As I explored, I came across a little park that had a piano in it. A man was playing a lovely tune and a young Taiwanese woman was taking pictures of him. When I’m away I try to get some pictures of myself for music and promotional purposes and figured this would be a great opportunity to do just that should I take a chance. So, I approached this young lady and asked her name, she said “Kitty” I told her who I am and what I do and asked if she’d be willing to take some pictures of me. I offered to pay her for her time or buy her lunch but she said there was no need and that she would do it for me for free. So for the next hour we walked around the streets of Toronto, I was her model and she was my private photographer. The kindness of some people never seises to amaze me. Later that evening she sent me an e-mail with all of the pictures and a note saying how much she and her boyfriend loved my music, especially ‘Upon a Lifetime’ I was overjoyed. Thank you Kitty!

After the impromptu photoshoot I stopped off and had some poutine for lunch, which is a popular dish here consisting of French fries, gravy and melted cheese. It was lovely but I could feel the pounds increasing with every fork full. I then found a little bar and enjoyed a pint of beer in the sunshine, more pounds added. It took me over an hour to finish it but I think the setting made me want to savour the moment a little more than usual. I then took an evening stroll over to the CN Tower, which is an iconic landmark here in Toronto, I’ve been up enough towers now to know what they’re all about an in my experience they’re rather anti-climatic. You pay a bunch of money, queue for ages, then take an elevator to the top where you have a view of the city and then, well, that’s it. I’ve been to the top of the Arc De Triomphe, The Shard, Berliner Fernsehturm, The Sydney Harbour Bridge…no, wait, the Sydney Harbour Bridge was bloddy impressive, amazing I would say, but the others? hmmmm…not so much, although on second thought the view from the top of the Arc De Triomphe is lovely because of the way the city of Paris is designed. My point is, I often like to look at these structures from the outside as oppose to going in them. So that’s what I did. I also try to catch some comedy when away, so booked myself a ticket to an improv night. I guess I was rather tired by the time I got there and also improv was not my first choice for comedy so I only stayed for the first half of the show, I really wanted to see some stand-up but all the shows I wanted to see were sold out, maybe I’ll have better luck in Montreal. My next stop.

**I don’t even want to know the calorie content!**

**Ahhhhhhhhh! That bloody glass was sooo heavy though!**

The week ended with me meeting yet another photographer, although this meeting was planned and he’s also a professional. His last photography campaign was for Reebok and his name is Dre, click here to check out his Instagram. I had been put in contact with him by my cousin, they had met at a studio session. This would be a proper photoshoot and boy am I glad that I booked him. The guy has such a great artistic eye. We moved around the city finding some really cool locations and used props and the natural light to create some lovely images which I can’t wait to share with you when the time is right. For now, I’ll just extend a thank you to a talented young man that I hope to work with again sometime.

As I complete this week’s blog I’m sat here on the sofa at my cousin’s place having just finished a black coffee whilst watching Arsenal vs Bournemouth and it’s just gone 10am. I’ve not slept past 8am since I’ve been here, nor have I had a problem with waking up early and I’ve no doubt it’s because I’m away from the daily grind, from the pressures of life and time is well and truly my own. I think we all feel better when we’re away and I’m convinced it’s because this is the way we were actually meant to live, without care, without worry, without somewhere we have to be. We weren’t meant to be slaves to our jobs, to money, to paying bills, to material things, we were meant to wander, to enjoy, to LIVE, but what we do day in and day out, is it really living? I saw a post recently that said, “working hard for something you dislike is called stress, working hard for something you love is called passion” which is why it is so important to find yours. Performing has always been mine, it has been the one constant throughout my life and I hope that with this continued drive and consistency I may perform for a living and one day do more than just exist, but truly LIVE while I am alive.

Thanks for reading and I hope that you make your week ahead a great one.

Be safe

Roman Harris

Live while you're alive By Roman Harris