It’s 9:30pm on Sunday night and I’m sat here on the Piccadilly line. The train has just arrived at Earl’s Court and due to delays and line closures I’ve had to seek an alternative route home. I wish I could say that I’m surprised but when it comes to London’s public transportation system nothing surprises me, especially on a Sunday. I have my headphones on but can still hear the high-pitched voice of a woman at the end of the row of seats opposite me, I sense that her boyfriend is uninterested in whatever she’s saying, or maybe I’m just projecting because in truth I’m the one who’s uninterested. I’m just tired and cranky. I’ve been awake since 6am, finished work at 7:30pm and by the time I walk through the door it will be 10pm. That’s 2.5 hours it would have taken me to get home. Tomorrow will very much resemble today, then again, maybe it won’t. My job can send me anywhere and on any given day anything can happen. If only I could have gotten today off of work it all would have looked very different, a friend offered me a ticket to see the LA Rams v Cincinnati Bengals in the NFL UK, but it was just too short notice, oh well, maybe next time. As I write these final words of an introduction on the newly cracked screen of my iPhone I am determined not to let my current circumstances crack my spirit. The next stop is my stop, it’s where I’ll change lines to start the next leg of my journey. The train is currently being held at a red signal to regulate the service, just my luck. I’m now listening to two men talk about the Rugby World Cup...I’m still uninterested! I need a shower, I need a cup of cocoa, I need to sleep! Ahhh we’re moving now...Be home soon.

A few weeks ago, whilst scrolling through Instagram I came across a post on comedian Aurie Styla’s page that read “Any up and coming artists send us an e-mail to be featured on my BBC Radio London show, The Scene” without hesitation I logged in to my G-mail account and did just that. A few days later I received a response asking whether I would be free on Monday 21st October to perform live on the show, when the e-mail came through I was in Canada but luckily, I was due to be back in the UK before the 21st. I then looked at my work schedule and was due to be working a night shift the night of the show, this was an issue because it directly clashed with show time, but I knew I would figure out a way to get the night off and I did just that! For opportunities like this you simply have to find a way. I would be performing on live radio, this has always been a dream of mine and it was about to come true.

I arrived at the BBC London studios in good time. Collected my security pass and was met by the producer for the show who took me up to the waiting area. There were two other individuals being interviewed that day. Both were involved in music and we had a great little chat amongst ourselves before going on air. There was jxnior an up and coming singer-songwriter who had recently returned from performing in Aya Napa and also Elroy “Spoonface” Powell who wrote a book entitled “How To Think Beyond a Chart Position” I purchased it recently and can’t wait to get stuck in to it. I couldn’t chat for too long though, after a while I had to sit with my thoughts and focus, for within a few minutes I would be on live radio and performing, the nerves started to appear but I said to myself, these are the moments that you have longed for, so embrace them and just enjoy it. Often, we hope and pray for things to come our way yet when they do we find ourselves afraid to take hold of them. I know this is something I’ve battled with over the years but I try my best to realise when I’m in one of these moments and instead of becoming crippled by the fear, I try to embrace it. As I walked into the studio it was the perfect opportunity for me to do just that and I am happy to say that the interview and performance went very well. Aurie is a really cool guy and made me feel very comfortable which helped bring out the best in me. After the show, we hung around and took a few pictures before all going our separate ways. I left the BBC building on cloud nine but on this journey, it’s so easy to keep looking for the next milestone, this was a special evening for me and quite the achievement but already my mind was ticking over and thinking about all the work I still have to do and what the next thing would be. I caught myself in this moment and instead of getting lost thinking about what was to come next, I slowed down and appreciated exactly where I was and it was a beautiful feeling. I’d like to say a massive thank you to Aurie and his team. You can catch Aurie Styla touring with his stand up comedy show ‘Just Like That’, click here to go to his website for tickets.

A few days after the interview I finally received an e-mail from Dre. If you’ve been reading my blog for a while then you’ll remember that Dre is the photographer I met whilst in Toronto. He sent me through the first draft of edited pictures and I was very impressed. I can’t wait to receive all of them but for now the images are looking pretty good. Here’s a few of them. My only wish is that I smiled more.

This year I have made a conscious decision to not watch the news. Some may think that’s irresponsible of me, however, the way I see it, there is little I can do to change most of what I see on news stories, all I can do with that information is worry a little more than I already do so I have decided to let the news go. Unfortunately, I cannot do the same with the things I see on a daily basis. I have always been very observant and when I travel around it’s amazing just how much some people display their true colours, often without even being aware that that’s what they’re doing. I was on the tube recently (I know it seems like I spend my life there right?) and two young Muslim ladies got on my carriage. They were wearing full traditional dress and as I looked around the carriage at other people I noticed one woman in particular and just how much disdain I could see in her eyes as she observed the two Muslim ladies. They say the eyes never lie and I believe this to be true, you can say one thing with your mouth but your eyes will reveal what you truly feel. People feel all sorts of ways about other people and though many may never admit it there is always a moment when their true colours will show and should you see those colours, don’t make excuses for them, believe them.

Is it bad to not want to see poverty? To not want reminders of it on your doorstep? I know it exists but I just don’t want to see it. I walk a similar route every day and for years now I have seen the same drug addicts walking up and down my area. Now I can identify them clearly, which means they must also be able to identify me, so we’ve been seeing each other for years and I have seen them in all kinds or weather walking to get their drugs, begging on the corner and recently it really has started to bother me more than ever before. It just doesn’t put me in the best frame of mind to start my day. However, on the other hand I also think about just how addictive drugs must be for someone to live such a life day after day and not be able to get it together. Something that I’ve seen recently which is totally new to the area is a tent that has been erected in a disused car park at the rear of my building. If I were famous then I’d be paranoid that it was the paparazzi, but then again, if I were famous I don’t think I’d be living here! It would appear that a homeless person has set up in this disused carpark at the back of my block of flats and now I see this tent every day. A few days into the tent being there I noticed that the person had placed a piece of cardboard on top of it, they must have had a leak of some kind. There’s a part of me that wants to report them and have them moved and then there’s a part of me that feels like I should just leave them be, I mean life must be hard enough for them. This scenario reminds me of the time a pigeon built a nest and laid eggs on my balcony. I wanted the pigeon gone but I just didn’t have the heart to get rid of the eggs and nest so I let the chicks hatch and grow up on my balcony until they were old enough to fly away. I think what bothers me about seeing the tent is that it is a daily reminder of just how unfair this life can be, maybe also a reminder that none of us are too far away from being homeless. I’m unsure as to how best to play this one, maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow and the tent will be gone, just like those birds. We’ll see.

So, it would appear I have new neighbours! How do I know this? Well, not because they baked me a cake or asked for some sugar, when you live in a block of flats like I do that’s not how you get introduced to new neighbours. Instead, you begin to notice slight differences in the sounds coming from the properties surrounding yours. In the last few weeks it would appear a baby elephant has moved in upstairs, this elephant likes weed, dancehall music inviting other baby elephants over and talking too loud. Whoever, lived there before was my kind of person, very quiet and considerate and as a man that really likes silence this was perfect. However, now, for the first time I am considering my options and thinking about where I could possibly move to, however, I then look out my window and see the tent and think, “Ahhhhh Roman, it’s not that bad…it could be worse…see”

As you may remember, last week I was feeling pretty down and decided to go to a comedy night to lift my spirits, well it did lift my spirits but me feeling down went deeper than one night of comedy could fix. You see, I had been questioning my current job and considering my options, whether to continue in this field of work or seek pastures new. Sometimes change can be good for us, it can give us a new lease of life, it can put that pep back into our step, but we have to be changing for the right reasons and what we’re running towards must be something we genuinely want, as opposed to running away from something we don’t. I found myself unsure and unclear of exactly what to do and as a result of my uncertainty my attitude was affected. I sat with my manager for a very frank discussion and asked him how he thought I was doing so far in my new role since promotion. His responses were very positive, however he mentioned that I seem to be lacking a little enthusiasm of late. It was very eye opening to hear someone else highlight this, of course I felt it inside but this meant that is was clearly visible to others and if it was visible to others then it could be affecting them too. It was upon hearing this that I decided I would need to make some changes. The one thing we can all control is our attitude and I needed to make some adjustments to mine in order to present myself as a better employee.

One of the challenges I have experienced since promotion is being without a vehicle. My current role requires me to travel a lot more than I used to and whenever I do I also have to take my uniform with me, which is like dragging a suitcase weighing about 15kg, so, as part of my attitude adjustment I have decided to start searching for a car, now I am really not desperate to own a car, but it has become necessary to own one, so here I am, looking for solutions rather than complaining about my problems. Now, what car should I get? Here in London we have two additional charges for motorists. One is the congestion charge, which applies if you drive your car within certain areas of Central London, however, the government have now brought in another charge to take more money from motorists and that is the ULEZ, which stands for Ultra Low Emission Zone. Like the congestion charge the ULEZ applies if you drive your car within specific areas where the charge is enforced. However, some cars are exempt from paying these charges if their emissions are below a certain amount, so I am weighing up whether it’s better to spend a bit more money on a car that is exempt, or to buy a cheap banger and just pay the charge as and when it applies to me. My main reason for not wanting to get a car though is that they are just so demanding, like children, the moment something is wrong with them you just have to get it sorted out, you ultimately become a slave to your vehicle but hey, needs must.

It’s now been over a week of intermittent fasting. My eating window has been from 12 midday to 8pm and although I did have a few days where I ate after 8pm due to my normal routine being interrupted I made sure I did not break my fast until midday. So far this has been helping me to eat better and coupled with regular exercise I am confident I have lost weight, but I want to give myself another week of doing this before I check in on my weight. Sometimes checking your weight can be discouraging, especially if you haven’t lost as much as you think you have or on some occasions not lost anything at all, but what matters most is how you feel and I’ve been feeling really good. I go to bed and wake up with a light stomach and having a light stomach helps me to focus more on the things I have to do, now this may be too much information but since starting with the intermittent fasting I’m also no stranger to the toilet, if you get what I mean, and that’s a really good sign of a healthy digestive system, so I’ll keep this going for as long as I can and hopefully I’ll start seeing physical results soon enough.

It would appear that my blog is developing a bit of a following, I received some recent feedback, albeit from my mother, who informed me that she’s been enjoying the read, however, she felt as though blog #8 was somewhat shorter than the previous one “Thanks for that!” I guess some people enjoy it so much that they want it to be even longer. She did have some positive things to say though and I guess this is nice for her to read, I mean we don’t talk very often so it’s a way for her to keep tabs on her son’s life. Forgive me if the length of this week’s blog is a bit shorter than expected but I think here is where I shall leave you all.

As another week is upon us do your best to face it with a positive outlook, remember, we control our attitudes, so try your best to have a positive one as you move through the week. Take care of yourself and others and I’ll catch you next week.

Be well

Roman Harris

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Attitude Adjustment By Roman Harris